Class Schedule Fall 13′

 

 

New York, New York

 

Well, I am officially moved in to my apartment and living here.  My family was with me for the week and I told them it was like being in rehab and today was the day I was to be let out.  I was in a safe cocoon of love for the past week where I felt cradled and around my comfort people and today was my first shot of doing it on my own.  I have to say I found it to be quite a successful day.  

When the car pulled away from our hotel to take my parents and sister to the airport, it was weird to not go with them.  I called my girlfriend right away as it is better for me to keep the love coming versus walking in silence, with my thoughts, to my new “home.”  I also made a detour to the NYU gym and though I only spent 30 minutes on the treadmill (while watching ‘Sex and the City’ to keep me going), it too was another comfort action.  Yes, treadmills comfort me – they are definitely in my safe zone.

I came home and felt really great.  I showered in my new home, made rice with my new pot, and made dinner for myself (I found all the utensils and silverware on my own!)  I actually unpacked a good amount of clothing and such.  I will need to get some more hangers and a black ink cartridge apparently (I swore I had one), but I am doing really good.

Like I mentioned in my last blog, my goal here is not to fall in love with New York City or “become” a New Yorker; my goal is school.  My goal is to master cinema and what better place to do that than New York.  Will I stay here after school?  It is a question I am asked often and can not answer.  That is not on my mind right now – I just want to get out of my comfort zone, learn all I can, make a ton of friends and network contacts, and find a famous hollywood actor to marry me.  The last one is 25% joke and 75% not (you want me to be honest here, right?)

After one week of being here, I can say food is easier for me to find, my legs hurt like all heck from walking so much, and the people are unlike any other.  I have no doubt I can fit in somewhere and no doubt I will make it here.  I am so excited for this next journey in my life, proud of myself for seeing it through, and will share as much as I can with all of you.  

 

Y’all Ready For This?

We are five days away from my departure.  After getting back from my Vegas vacation this past Saturday, my week has been filled with packing, spending time with friends and family, and doing what I can to avoid “me time.”  I realized that last one today because when I am alone, in thought, reality sets in.  If I can just keep myself busy or with my friends and family, avoidance is easy.

Ok, ok. I am not actively trying to avoid my feelings; I just realized today as I walked alone to have lunch with former coworkers – I thought a lot about my leaving and that it will be sad. Whereas, two days ago when I was walking with my dad, enjoying our conversation, I barely thought about it.  I guess I have not been spending a lot of time alone and have not really had to think about all that my move entails.

But, the thoughts I have only scare me when I start using words like “never” or “last time.”  For example, walking past the Skokie Library today, I think, “This may be my last time walking this way.”  Or, “I am never going to live in Skokie again.”  Besides having no factual evidence behind them, they are total black and white thinking.  The more I avoid those words, the easier it is to handle the change of scenery about to take place (like my use of euphemism – change of scenery vs. VERY GIGANTIC LIFE CHANGE).

So, the sadness hits me here and there and I have had fear-based thoughts like, “What if I hate the subject I chose?” but major emotional rip tides cease to exist in my world today.  I did not even really feel like I had much to share in this blog, but wanted to keep y’all updated.  I am curious myself whether I will have a hard time with loneliness, the change of scenery, and going back to school.  These are the times when a crystal ball would be nice, but then again it would take all he fun out of the experience.  I am really excited to start this new chapter in my life and even if September is a harder month, a month of adjustment, I have no doubt I can do it.  I have you all, God, and my stubborn Taurus self – the winning trifecta.